Edward
by EnchantedSailorBella
Summary: Scenes from the Twilight Series in Edward's point of view. Rated M for possible content.
1. Joining My Angel

NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED! All recognizable characters belong to SM

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**Joining My Angel**

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I looked up at the ever bright sun from my eternal space in the shadows. It was so bright, so welcoming, so like my beautiful Bella. So like she had been in her life. The life that I had taken away from her. The life that meant more to me than anything else in the world. I had left her to give her back the life that I had no right to, but she didn't accept it. Instead she'd willing left it. Willingly plunged herself into the eternal darkness of death.

My unbeating heart seized in my chest. It hurt to think of her, pulled under the by the angry waters. The waves pushing and pulling, fighting over who should have the final claim on her. But they were wrong. No one and nothing could claim my Bella. She was meant to be free.

I supposed that's what she is now. She's found freedom from the bondage of the world that keeps us apart. And I have made my decision. I will follow her. This world is empty without the light that she provides. The light so much like the sun.

I looked back up at the closest of the stars, knowing that it would bring me closer to my Bella. It's beautiful warmth, a bridge to the only thing I've ever truly wanted.

The clock from the tower above me began to chime. BONG-BONG-BONG-BONG-BONG-BONG-BONG-BONG-BONG-BONG-BONG. One more hour.

I didn't want to wait that long, but I knew I should. I was doing this for her, hoping that she would see. Praying that she would know that I was doing this for her and her alone. I wanted her to see the sparkle of my skin from the heaven in which she resided. That left me with no choice. At noon, she would see the brightest of suns reflected from my skin, as would all of Voltera. I would hide no longer.

I felt an odd peace overtake me. After over half a year's separation, I would be with her again soon. A small smile played across my lips as I let every facet of my mind fill with her presence. The sweet smell that was a combination of strawberries, lavender, and Bella. Her luminous skin that was beautiful under the sun and exquisite under the moon. How soft and warm her skin felt under my fingers and lips. How I wished I could have spent more time memorizing the shape and feel of her body. The feel of the silken strands of hair that adorned her magnificent head. The beautiful sea of red and brown that splayed across her pillow as she slept peacefully.

I closed my eyes and groaned as I let the image of her sleeping fill my mind. The way her plump red lips would form around my name as she dreamed of a future that I had taken away from her. A family that we were both now leaving behind. I choked on emotion and tears that I could no longer shed as I remembered that first night that she'd asked me to stay. The way she'd whispered her love for me over and over and over again. I had gently kissed her in her sleep that night, as I would most nights for the rest of the time we'd spent together. Stolen kisses from willing lips. They'd been so soft, so pliant against mine. Ever tempting me to push farther, to take more.

With each passing minute, the calm I felt increased. My body knew that I would be with Bella soon. I even felt a dim electric tingle across my skin, a true sign that she was close to me. It wouldn't be much longer now.

I glanced out at a family nearby. They were everything that I had wanted with Bella. I wanted to be able to give her that life. I would have given anything to become human and grow old with her, have children that would have her eyes.

Her eyes. Those beautiful deep, chocolate brown pools of emotion. I could read everything in those eyes. The first time we'd met, they'd contained fear and intrigue. She'd wanted to know me. Even without knowing her mind, I could see that. I'd wanted to use it. I'd wanted to rid the world of the torture that she'd inflicted on me. Now I do anything to have such a torture, just to know that she still lived.

As we'd grown closer, the fear changed and dimmed. Though it was always there, hidden beneath the love and the lust, it was still there. I bowed my head knowing the fear that she felt and I'd fed. She feared that she'd lose me. That I'd reject her love. And I had. I'd watched all the light in her beautiful doe like eyes fade that day in the forest. Part of me wondered if she'd ever gained back even a fraction of that light. Who had been the person to see the light's return? Who had been so lucky as to see a true smile again? Had anyone bothered to make her life livable again, or had the damage and hurt I'd inflicted only been the beginning?

I did not deserve Bella. It was something I'd always known, but it didn't prevent what I was going to do now. I was going to be with her again. I could feel her with me. The tingle on my skin had grown stronger as the time passed. Each passing second increased the sensation. She was with me, guiding me to her. She knew what I wanted, and she wasn't going to leave me alone any longer. She wanted us to be together again as well. She wanted our eternity, our forever.

More people had gathered in the crowded plaza. It was merely minutes away now. I knew the clock would chime noon in less than ten minutes. The sun was nearly at the center of the sky. My stage was nearly complete. This would be my greatest and final scene. And I knew that Bella was here to watch it. I could sense her so much closer than she'd been in half a year.

I began to pull the hem of my white cotton shirt form my black pants. The cotton was soft between my fingers, but it was nothing compared to the feel of Bella's skin. I slipped each button through the slits cut for them slowly. I was setting my scene with care, with Bella as my on intended audience. She would see. She would understand.

I let the shirt slide from my shoulders and down my arms. It fluttered through the air, and landed in a pile on the cold ground behind me. Just like when we were in the meadow, I was exposing myself to her. Everything I'd done was for her, and now she would know.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the people around me anymore. I just wanted to see her. Nothing else mattered anymore. Nothing else had mattered since that fateful moment that she stepped into Mr. Banner's biology class. It had been the most important and pivotal moment in my immortal life. More important than the day that Carlisle took me from the hospital in Chicago. More important than the day that I returned to him, bent on caging the monster within. It was the changing moment in my life, the moment that jolted my dead heart.

I breathed a sigh of relief. The feel of Bella's presence was increasing quickly. It felt almost as if she was running toward me at her clumsy human pace. It felt as if she were closer now than she'd been that day when she'd been across the parking lot and Tyler's van had nearly crushed her. It was a distance that had taken me a mere second to cross. The distance I could feel between us now would take less time. I'd find her soon, and we'd never be separated again.

I latched on to that feel of her. Used it to block out the thoughts of those around me, human and vampire alike. Felix and Demitri were close, ready to kill me the moment I stepped into the sun. It was what I was hoping for. I didn't want to live without Bella, and their violent natures would connect me to my heart, my soul, my Bella for eternity.

The plaza was suddenly filled with deafening noise of the clock tower. BONG-BONG. I smiled as my mind pulled out the greatest gift it could give me. The sound of Bella's voice calling to me over and over again. "Edward!" she shouted in my mind. It was a siren's call, and I was going to answer. BONG-BONG-BONG. She called to me again, the sound much strong, accompanied by a waft of the scent that was my Bella. "Edward!" BONG-BONG-BONG. My name fell from my angel's lips again and again and again. Each time it was louder, drawing me closer to her. "Edward, no!" She sounded defeated. It tore at my heart. Thechimes came from the tower above me. BONG-BONG.

She was so close now. I felt as though I could reach out and touch her. I sighed and turned my palms out. I wanted to feel the warmth of the sun, so much like my Bella, in every way possible. I wanted to feel her. The warmth of the sun and her voice called to me. I was ready now. Everything was perfectly set for the final scene of my miserably lonely life. Nothing would separate me from my Bella now.

I took a step forward, drawn by the call of my love. The warmth of her soul so close, reaching for me. I knew she was reaching for me just as I was reaching for her, and we would meet in the middle. "No! Edward look at me!" She called out to me. I could deny her nothing any more. I felt the corner of my lips cur up as more images of my Bella flooded my mind. I looked at her, seeing her for what I prayed would not be the last time.

I lifted my foot to take the final step across the barrier between the sun and the shade. I was ready to leave my curtain and face my audience. It was time. The clock had stopped chiming and the play was about to end.

Before I'd even completed the step, she hit me. I knew it was her. Nothing felt the way that she did pressed against my body. I caught her and held her to me. It was done. I'd done it. I'd ended the terrible life that I'd created for myself, and now I was with my love again. I looked down. She was so beautiful.

I held her close, unable to believe that my tainted soul could have reached the heaven that embodied Bella's. " Amazing. Carlisle was right"

Her lips were parted as she breathed heavily. She opened her mouth, forming my name with her lips, but no sound came forth. She looked so flustered, so human, so beautiful.

I was suddenly grateful for the tyrannical ways of the Volturi. For now, here in my arms, was my angel. "I can't believe how quick it was. I didn't feel a thing. They're very good."

I closed my eyes and lowered my head to her silky hair. "Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty." I kiss in the silky strands, so real, and inhaled deeply. "You smell just exactly the same as always. So maybe this is hell. I don't care. I'll take it."

My angel finally spoke. Her voice washing over me, cleansing me of my sins. "I'm not dead. And neither are you. Please, Edward, we have to move. They can't be far away."

I was so enthralled by the sound of her voice that I barely registered her words. They made no sense. They'd come out distressed. No angel should be distressed when she has reached heaven. I must not have heard her correctly. "What was that?"

Her eyes sparked with fear. A fear that was so much like the fear the day that I'd left her to hunt James. It wasn't a fear for herself, it was a fear for me. She was afraid for me. Why would my angel fear when we were finally together again? "We're not dead, not yet. But we have to get out of here before the Volturi…"

Her words broke through my haze. The voices that I'd shut out of my head came back in a rush. Demitri and Felix were closing in on us. We were not in heaven. We were in my own personal hell. Yes, Bella was alive. And my rash behavior had again put her in danger. I tighten my grasp on her and pulled her farther into the shadows, farther from the light in which she was meant to reside. I was selfish, and I was going to drag her further into my world. There was nothing I could do anymore.

I pushed her behind me, they would not get her. I had no right to, but I was too weak to stop myself. I was claiming her. She was mine and no one else would get her.

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_AN: I've been thinking about doing something like this for a while. Please let know if you like the way that I've done this. I'm willing to do more scenes. If you think I should do more scenes, leave suggestions of which ones you'd like to see._


	2. My Way is Wrong

**My Way is Wrong

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I smashed the trunk of a tree standing next to me out of frustration. I hated the pretenses that were necessary for Bella and me to be together in the public eye. I wanted her to be here with me always. It was driving me mad to have to spend any time away from her. Especially now that she had agreed to marry me.

I slipped my hand into the right front pocket of my jeans to finger my mother's engagement ring. Another pretense that I was ready to be rid of. I wanted Bella to wear my ring. I wanted people to see the physical proof that she was mine. Mine. She was mine. But she didn't have to be.

I slammed my fist into another tree. Esme was going to kill me if I diminished the tree line too much. She had a way of making things look so perfect that they looked natural. I knew that the last six trees that I'd smashed had been more than she wanted.

I slumped to the ground, lingering on my thoughts of my Bella. She didn't have to be my Bella, but it would kill me. Like I had told Jacob last night in the tent, I would let her go if she chose him. And now, now that she'd realized that she did indeed love Jacob as I'd seen all along, there was a chance that she would chose him. He could give her things that I could not, while still providing the protection that I could. Jacob could give her children and a life without the burning desire for blood and murder. She might turn away from me for another monster.

It would hurt, but if she decided that she wanted that life, I would gladly let her have it. It was the life I had chosen for her when I had left her months ago. Of course, I'd hoped that she'd choose someone with less of a mythical connection, someone who could give her a normal human life. I chuckled darkly, Bella could not have a normal human life. She seemed to be a magnet for anything from my world. Maybe she was meant to join my world. Maybe that's why she seemed to be in the middle of all the dangers that my world offered.

I shook my head. Nobody was meant to join this world. This is not the type of life that any person is meant for.

I needed to know where Bella was. "Alice," I spoke up just loud enough for her to hear me in the house. "Do you see her yet?"

_Relax, Edward_. Alice thought. I searched her mind, but she couldn't see Bella. That meant she was still on the reservation. _She'll be done soon. She has a lot to work through with Jacob. You know it's not going to be easy for her._

"I know," I relinquished. She had clung to my hand so tightly as Carlisle and I had worked over Jacob's unconscious form. It should be reassuring to know that she needed me so much, but it wasn't. I knew that she could still change her mind. And there was a good part of me that would support her. I still didn't want her to be changed. Even though I didn't have the strength to leave her on my own again, I knew that it would be better for her if I was no longer there. I'd find a way to protect her from the Volturi if she wanted to choose a human life with or without me.

_Edward_. Alice's thoughts broke into my mind. She showed me an image of Bella slumped over in the seat of her truck, sobbing uncontrollably. _You better go get her. She's done it, and she needs you._

She'd chosen me. I was both overjoyed and disappointed. It would have been healthier for her to choose Jacob, but now, I got to keep her forever.

I pushed myself up from the tree and started running. I didn't know how far from the reservation she'd stopped, or if she was still on the reservation, but I needed to get to her.

It only took me a few minutes to find her old truck. I opened the door and slid in. I took her into my arms without hesitation. I could feel the hesitation that she felt for being in my arms, and then her sobbing increased in volume and the tremors of her body grew harsher. I worried that her small frame might break the way that she was shaking.

I was worried that my presence was upsetting her. Her disposition seemed to become worse with me holding her, but when I'd made a small move away, she'd clung to me tightly. Her hands had gripped my shirt in a death grip, and I made no more moves away from her. I rocked her gently as she continued to cry. I stroked her hair and rubbed what I hoped were soothing circles in her back, though I knew she was beyond being soothed at this point.

She began to choke slightly and I worried until the unintelligible sounds began to string together. "Ch-ch," she stuttered. "Cha-harlie," she finally got out. She said his name several more times. Not once was she able to get his name out once without choking on it.

She wanted to see her father. She wouldn't make it past her father this way. He would know something was amiss, and he might try to question her. She definitely wouldn't make it through questioning. But she did need to get home soon. The sun was beginning to set. Maybe she needed just a little bit more time. "Are you really ready to go home?"

She couldn't get a full sentence through her lips, but I knew what she was trying to tell me. She needed to get home before Charlie started to look for her. We both knew tonight was going to be a long night. She'd need to get past Charlie.

I turned toward the wheel of her truck and began to push it forward. I wanted to give her a little more time to get control of herself, so I drove irritatingly slow up the road to her house. After several minutes, her sobs began to silence, though I could still smell the salt, so I knew the tears were still spilling down her face without even looking at her. Guilt pressed into me. She was in this pain because she chose me instead of Jacob.

I pulled up in front of her house and we got out. She had quieted and the tears had slowed, but this was nowhere near the end. She was just holding back. I hoped that she would last long enough to make it past her father. He was not one to deal with emotions.

I pulled her into my arms before she went inside. She didn't look up at me. "Wait for me upstairs," she mumbled.

I hugged her more tightly, trying to convey all the love and support that I had for her. I wanted her to know that I was here for her, but I was afraid to speak. She seemed so delicate that I word might break her control

I left her standing in her driveway and went directly through her window. I waited anxiously, not liking how long it took her to get through the door. But she did get through the door. I heard the quiet creaking, she was trying to not be noticed. She walked with quiet footsteps to the stairs, but of course, Charlie had been waiting for her.

"Bella?" He called as he got up from his chair. Then he looked at her. I could see her in his mind. She had not been able to stop the tears. They were still running down, and she looked as though she were being tortured. It tore at my dead heart. "What happened? Is Jacob?"

She shook her head, "He's fine." Her voice was rough and low from crying, so she tried again. "He's fine."

Charlie was still distressed by her appearance, as he should be. "But what happened? What happened to you?" He placed his hands firmly on her shoulders, planting her in place. Pinning her to the spot. I prayed she'd make it through long enough to make it up to her room. If she broke down downstairs, I wouldn't be able to get to her, and Charlie would be unable to provide any sort of comfort.

"Nothing, Dad." She looked away from him. "I just had to talk to Jacob about some things that were hard. I'm fine." She wasn't fine, and it was going to break through soon.

Charlie had settled by this point, but hadn't moved his hands from her shoulders. He was unhappy about what she'd done. Though he was beginning to find qualities in me that he liked, he was still in Jacob's corner, and didn't want Bella to give up on that route yet. "Was this really the best time?"

"Probably not, Dad. But I didn't have any alternatives. It just got to the point where I had to choose. Sometimes there isn't any way to compromise." She choked on her words a little. No, there wasn't a compromise. It was either vampires or werewolves. In the world of mortal enemies, you couldn't have both.

"How did he handle it?" Bella looked up at him, but didn't answer. Charlie could see it in her face. It was enough of an answer for him. "I hope you didn't mess up his recovery"

Bella looked down at her hands. "He's a quick healer"

They stood there for several uncomfortable moments for all of us. The damn was breaking, and the tears were beginning to flow at a quicker rate again. "I'll be in my room," she choked out. The words were slurred together slightly, but she'd been focusing her energy on getting out of Charlie's grasp.

He nodded behind her, finally realizing that he was out of his league with what was going on. "Kay"

She tripped up the stairs to her room. It took everything in me not to expose my presence to her father and catch her. She finally reached her room and fell against the wall. She didn't notice me in the room immediately as she was too busy trying to take win a fight with the clasp of the bracelet that Jacob had given her.

I grabbed her wrist, stopping her movement. "No, Bella." Even if my diamond hadn't been on the bracelet, it would have been wrong to let her take it off. "It's part of who you are."

I pulled her into my arms and cradled her as I led her to the bed. I held her and rocked her as the sobs and the tears again broke free. They were back with a vengeance. They seemed to have gained strength when she was holding them back, and now they were so loud that Charlie could hear them downstairs.

She cried well into the night. It seemed that there was no end to the pain that she was feeling. It hurt me that I had caused her this much pain by leaving her in the forest that day. If I had not left her, she would not have become so close to Jacob. She would not have fallen in love with him. Her heart would not be torn in two now, and there would be no decision to make.

There became a point in the night when she became hysterical. She apologized to me incessantly, but about what, I couldn't understand. I tried to soothe her, but that only seemed to make it worse. She would flinch and cry out whenever I tried to comfort her. But eventually, that calmed as well.

She continued to cry until the sun was only a few hours below the horizon. The tears and the sobs calmed as she finally slipped into unconsciousness. Her sleep wasn't peaceful, but at least she was sleeping. She alternated between talking to me and Jacob. She told us both that she loved us and that she was sorry.

If I could have cried, I would have. How could I have caused her this much pain? It was wrong for me to keep her. If it hurt her this much to be away from Jacob, then she shouldn't be. I would let her go. I wouldn't leave her like I did last time, I would watch her walk away from me. I flinched at the thought, but I knew that it was the right thing to do.

I had nearly made my decision to do so when her eyes fluttered open. Her eyes were set with a new resolve. "Hey," she whispered. Her voice was hoarse from the tears.

I watched her, waiting for something to break. I was too scared to say anything, yet. "No, I'm fine." She shook her head slightly, trying to smile at me. "That won't happen again."

I continued to study her, trying to find truth in her words, but she looked away, hiding her eyes from me. "I'm sorry that you had to see that. That wasn't fair to you."

I brought my hands up to frame my face so that she would have to look at me. When her eyes finally connected with mine, I could see the pain that she was trying to hide in them. "Bella, are you sure? Did you make the right choice? I've never seen you in so much pain." I couldn't help it, I choked on the last word. She'd been so broken last night. It wasn't right. It wasn't natural. She should never be in pain.

She laid her fingers on my lips. The motion was slightly comforting, but it did not push away my fears. "Yes," she whispered.

It wasn't enough. I could see it in her eyes, she was still in pain. "I don't know. If it hurts you so much, how can it be the right thing for you?"

There was determination and more volume in her voice as she spoke. "Edward, I know who I can't live without"

"But…"

"You don't understand." She cut me off quickly. "You may be brave enough or strong enough to live without me, if that's what's best. But I could never be that self-sacrificing. I have to be with you. It's the only way I can live."

She was trying to convince me that I was who she wanted, and I so desperately wanted to believe her. But last night was so hard for me to shake off.

"Hand me that book, will you?" She pointed to the night stand behind me.

I reached around and picked up the ridiculously worn copy of Wuthering Heights. How many times were we going to talk about this book? Was she trying to distract me from the topic at hand? "This again?"

She nodded and began to flip through the pages. "I just wanted to find this one part I remembered. To see how she said it."

She found the page that she was looking for and pointed to a section. I didn't look down to see what it was though, I was too busy watching her. "Cathy's a monster, but there were a few things she got right." She took a deep breath and read the passage quietly. I wasn't sure if she'd intended for me to hear it at first. "If all else perished and he remained, I should still continue to be. And if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger"

She looked up at me from the book, eyes clearer than they'd been in a while. "I know exactly what she means, and I know who I can't live without"

I took the book from her and flipped it across the room. I wrapped my arms around her waist and let the first hint of a smile cross my lips. "Heathcliff had his moments too." I leaned in closer so that I could whisper the words for only her to hear. "I cannot live without my life. I cannot live without my soul"

"Yes." She nodded. "That's my point"

I sighed. I still couldn't push away the images that would be forever burned in my brain of how Bella wept for her best friend and love last night. It wasn't right just to let her continue this way. "Bella, I can't stand for you to be miserable. Maybe…"

"No, Edward." She interrupted me forcefully, almost angrily. "I've made a real mess of things, and I'm going to have to live with that. But I know what I want, and what I need and what I'm going to do now."

I finally let myself try to believe what she was saying. "What are we going to do now?"

She rewarded me for my submission with a small smile. Then it fell as she gave a small annoyed smile that I understood after she spoke, "We are going to go see Alice."

I wasn't exactly sure why we were going to see Alice, but I had my suspicions. And they were confirmed as I came into hearing distance of Alice's thoughts. She was already making all the plans for a wedding that was much grander than either Bella or I needed. But I also saw Bella agreeing. Of course she had her conditions, which Alice already knew. It was a rather one sided conversation, something Bella would eventually get used to with a sister like Alice.

A sister like Alice. That's when the thought really hit me. She was going to be my wife. I followed her upstairs to Alice's room, but was forced to stay outside while Alice showed Bella her wedding dress. I tried to see it, but Alice was persistent in keeping her thoughts hidden. She was the only person who'd been able to perfect that little trick so well. Carlisle was able to think of other things, but Alice was the only one who could keep me out of her thoughts and away from what she was seeing.

Alice and Bella finally exited the room after a very excited Alice had been told that she was the only bridesmaid. It was nice of Bella, and it tore at me. She was doing the wedding for everyone else. Why was I doing this to Bella. I had done everything wrong. This was not what Bella wanted. Bella just wanted to be changed so that we could spend eternity together. Was that really so bad?

I touched her cheek. I knew what I needed to do. I needed to fix what I'd done wrong. I needed to give her what it was that she really wanted. "Let's get out of here. Let's go to our meadow."

She smiled, and I could tell that she really liked the idea. She seemed truly relaxed for the first time in months. "I guess I don't have to hide out any more do I?"

"No. The danger is behind us." Just as I promised it would be before I changed her. It was obvious that was what she still wanted. She wouldn't be going through with the wedding if it wasn't. She had finally relented. But that was just it. She shouldn't be relenting to marry me to get something else that she wanted. She should want to marry me.

I continued to think about these revelations as I carried Bella to the meadow. She was relaxed into my back. It was the first time she'd been so calm since before I left. I let her calm seep into me.

I sat her down in our meadow and we both lay in the damp grass. I took her hand as we both looked up at the clouds that floated by, allowing a small amount of sunlight to filter through. It was calm and quiet. Too quiet. I found myself reverting back to my old desires to know what was going on in her impenetrable mind. "August 13th?" I asked. The restrictions that she had put on Alice had intrigued me.

She didn't look from the sky as she answered. "That gives me a month to my birthday. I didn't want to cut it too close."

I sighed. The age thing again. I didn't really understand why it bothered her being a few years older than me before she was changed. "Esme is three years older than Carlisle, technically. Did you know that?" She shook her head from side to side, getting a small piece of grass in her hair. "It hasn't made any difference to them"

Her voice was determined. She'd made up her mind, and she was making sure that I knew. "My age is not really that important Edward. I'm ready. I've chosen my life, now I wanna start living it."

I stroked her hair, removing the piece of grass that had dared to mar its perfection. "The guest list veto?"

"I don't care really, but I," she hesitated. I was still so frustrated by the fact that I couldn't' hear what was on her mind. She was likely to edit what I couldn't hear. "I'm not sure if Alice would feel the need to invite a few werewolves. I don't know if Jake would feel like...like he should come, like that's the right thing to do, or that I'd would get my feelings hurt if he didn't. He shouldn't have to go through that."

We laid there in silence for a few more moments as her words sunk in. It still didn't make any sense. I grabbed her around the waist and shifted her so that she was lying on my stomach, nose to nose. "Tell me why you're doing this, Bella. Why did you decide now to give Alice free reign?"

She sighed, but began to speak. "Yesterday, before I went to see Jake, my father stopped me. He pulled me aside and asked me, and I quote, 'Will you tell me before you do anything major. Before you run off with him or something? I won't kick up a fuss, just give me some advance notice. Give ma chance to say goodbye'." She looked slightly pained as she repeated her father's words.

"It wouldn't be fair to keep Charlie out of this. And that means Renee and Phil. I might as well let Alice have her fun to. Maybe it will make the whole thing easier for Charlie if he gets his proper goodbye. Even if he thinks it's much too early. I wouldn't want to cheat him out of the chance to walk me down the aisle." She cringed slightly as she said the words. Why did she have to be such a martyr?

"At least my mom and dad and my friends will know that best part of my choice, the most I'm allowed to tell them. They'll know I chose you and they'll know we're together. They'll know I'm happy, wherever I am. I think that's the best I can do for them." She brushed a piece of hair from my forehead as she spoke.

I framed her face, looking deeply into her eyes. I couldn't allow her to go through with this. It wasn't right. It wasn't what was going to make her happy. And that was all I'd really wanted. She'd known what would make her happy, and I'd been delaying it. I couldn't do that any longer. "Deal's off."

"What? You're backing out. No." She looked shocked. It was not the response that I'd been expecting, but then her words hit me. She thought I was going back on my word.

"I'm not backing out, Bella. I'll still keep my side of the bargain. But you're off the hook." I quieted my voice slightly, making each word gentle. "Whatever you want, no strings attached."

"Why?" She studied me carefully. I could barely read the expression in her eyes. She had no idea what to make of my decision.

"Bella, I see what you're doing. You're trying make everyone else happy, and I don't care about anyone else's feelings. I only need you to be happy." I stroked the apple of her cheek, there was still worry in her eyes. Maybe she was worried about the promises that she'd already made. "Don't worry about breaking the news to Alice. I'll take care of it. I promise she won't make you feel guilty."

She looked between my eyes, confusion furrowing her beautiful brow, "But I…"

"No," I quickly interrupted her, "we're doing this your way. Because my way doesn't work. I call you stubborn, but look at what I've done. I've clung with such idiotic obstinacy to my idea of what's best for you though it's only hurt you. Hurt you so deeply. Time and time again. I don't trust myself anymore. You can have happiness your way. My way is always wrong. So…we're doing it your way Bella. Tonight, today, the sooner the better. I'll speak to Carlisle. I was thinking that maybe if we gave you enough morphine it wouldn't be so bad. It's worth a try." I gritted my teeth together as I thought of her in the pain of transformation. The fires of hell could not burn as hot as the venom of a vampire. And she wanted it to be my venom. She wanted it to be me who put her through that pain. But I'd promised her, anything she wanted.

"Edward, no." She spoke firmly.

I looked up at her for a moment trying to determine why she'd be so against what it was that she'd originally wanted. Then it occurred to me. I place my fingers over her lips. "Don't worry, Bella, love. I haven't forgotten the rest of my demands."

I moved my hands to her hair and pulled her lips to mine. I had never let myself kiss her with so little restraint. And I couldn't deny the affect that her lips moving against mine had on me. She wrapped her hands firmly around my upper arms and pulled herself closer to me, imprinting her body into mine.

I rolled us gently so that I was hovering above her. I held myself up with my elbows, not allowing her to feel my weight. I didn't break contact with her lips until she shook her head, trying to find oxygen. I let my mouth trail from her lips to her neck while she fulfilled her need for oxygen.

"Stop, Edward. Wait," her voice was weak.

"Why?"

"I don't wanna do this now?" Her voice was a little stronger, but her body betrayed her. Her hands were hands were still gripping me tightly, pulling me closer to her.

I smirked into her neck, "Don't you?"

I reclaimed her lips when I could hear that she had gained enough oxygen. I needed to taste her mouth again. I needed her. That was it. But she seemed to have other things in mind. Her hands, which had moved to my hair as I'd kissed her, had slid down to my chest and began to shove lightly.

I pulled away enough to look down at her. She was so beautiful, flushed and panting heavily, "Why?" My voice was so low I barely recognized it as my own. "I love you. I want you, right now." She didn't speak again, so leaned down to press my lips to hers again.

"Wait, wait," she managed to get around my lips.

I growled as I looked down at her. Why was she denying me now? "Not for me?" It was the only explanation that I could come up with. The only reason that she would not want this. I could smell her arousal. Her body wanted mine just as mine wanted hers.

"Please," her plea was breathless.

I groaned and pushed away from her. I wasn't going to take her unwillingly. I would never do that to her. Even with my lack of a need for oxygen, my breathing was erratic. I took a few moments to calm it before speaking. "Tell me why not, Bella. This had better not be about me."

"Edward this is very important to me. I am going to do this right." It sounded like she was trying to convince herself of this as much as she was trying to convince me.

"Who's definition of right?" I asked as I rolled to look at her.

"Mine" She nearly growled at me.

"How are you going to do this right?" My body was beginning to calm with the space that I'd between us.

"Responsibly, everything in the right order. I will not leave Charlie and Renee without the best resolution I can give them. I won't deny Alice her fun if I'm having a wedding anyway. And I will tie myself to you in every human way before I ask you to make me immortal. I'm falling all the rules, Edward. Your soul is far, far too important to me to take chances with." Her eyes pleaded with me to believe her. Not to push her. "You're not going to budge me on this."

I leaned forward slightly, looking deeply into her eyes. "I bet I could".

"But you wouldn't," her voice shook slightly, letting me know that I'd had an effect on her, "not knowing that this is what I really need.

"You don't fight fair." I felt a slight pout forming on my lips.

"Never said I did." She grinned up at me.

"If you change your mind…" I needed her to know that the option was still there if she wanted it. I was going to stick by my decision. I would give her whatever she wanted.

"You'll be the first to know," she said quickly.

We lay that way for a while. It was so strange, but Bella had forced me to get what I'd wanted. The mist began to filter through the clouds, and she glared at the sky. I leaned over and brushed a piece of hair from her face. "I'll get you home."

"Rain's not the problem," she grumbled. "It just means that it's time to go do something that will be very unpleasant and possibly even highly dangerous." I looked down at her as worry clouded my thoughts. What would be dangerous to her now that Victoria was gone? Hadn't we been through enough? "It's a good thing your bullet proof. I'm going to need that ring. It's time to tell Charlie."

I threw my head back in laughter. Relief made me giddy. We weren't in danger, she was going to tell her father, finally tell the world that she was mine. I smiled down at her. "Highly dangerous." I dug into my pocket where my mother's ring had been waiting, for this exact moment. "But at least there's no need for a side trip."

I took her hand in mine and slipped on the ring, admiring the perfection that I was seeing. Bella would be mine, forever.

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_AN: Please let me know if you have any requests on certain sections that you would like to see me do. I'm open to trying any that are put in front of me._


	3. Friends

**I would like to thank As Hearts Collide for giving me the courage to post this chapter. It's really hard for me to get into Edward's head, pre-New Moon sometimes, and I needed a little push of confidence. Thanks and Enjoy :)

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**Bella and I stared each other down. She was a feisty little thing. It was both amusing and irritating. I still couldn't understand why it was that she wanted to know me so much, why she wanted to be my 'friend.' Most humans cowered away from me, and yet, she sat here, glaring at me.

Movement over her shoulder caught my eye. Mike was standing up from his chair, his thoughts as clear on his face as they were in his mind. And both Tyler and Eric seemed to want to join him in some kind of action. They couldn't understand why I had to show interest in someone now, when I never had before. And they wanted to rescue Bella from the big bad Edward. I couldn't help but snicker.

"What?" Confusion colored her tone and her face.

I couldn't remove the smile from my face as images of Mike dragging me up by my collar and 'teaching me a lesson' flooded my mind. It was more than a little amusing. "Your boyfriend seems to think I'm being unpleasant to you. He's debating whether or not to come break up our fight."

"I don't know who you're talking about." Her eyes were narrowed, and I could tell that she was trying to infuse ice into her voice. "But I'm sure you're wrong anyway."

"I'm not." How I wished I could be. How I wished I didn't have to know the mind of every human that I came in contact with so intimately. "I told you. Most people are easy to read."

"Except me of course." She seemed almost irritated by this, like she wanted to be easy for me to read. I couldn't understand, but I did want to know what went on in that silent head of hers.

"Yes," I turned my attention back to her, "except for you. I wonder why that is."

She looked away from me. She placed all of her energy in screwing and unscrewing the bottle top of her lemonade which had gone mostly untouched. She lifted the bottle to her lips and swallowed a good amount, but kept her gaze on the table.

My brow furrowed as I realized for the first time that this wasn't right. Humans ate lunch, and I'd been watching Bella carefully over the past few months. She was no exception to this rule. "Aren't you hungry?

"No," She finally looked up at me, and I could see in her eyes that she was doing some editing of her thoughts. "You?

"No, I'm not hungry." I smirked at my own private joke as I placed emphasis with the word hungry. Alice rolled her eyes at me. Clearly she didn't find my joke humorous.

Bella resumed her silence for a few more minutes. It killed me not to be able to hear her, but she was working something out in her head, and if I was quiet, she might grant me audience to some of her thoughts. "Can you do me a favor?"

I didn't like where this was headed. "That depends on what you want"

"It's not much." She defended herself quickly. "I just wondered if you could warn me before hand the next time you decide to ignore me for my own good. Just so I'm prepared"

"That sounds fair." I really wanted to laugh. It was such an unfamiliar feeling, but it was bubbling deep within my chest. I pursed my lips hard, because, for some strange reason, this seemed important to her.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

"Then can I have one answer in return?" I leaned forward, placing my forearms on the table.

"One," she relented.

I couldn't help but smile as she fell for my trap. "Tell me one theory."

Her eyes went wide as she realized what had just happened. "Not that one."

I tried to look affronted, but I had won. She was going to tell me. "You didn't qualify, you just promised one answer."

"And you've broken promises yourself." She glared at me, her kitten-like fury bubbling to the surface.

"Just one theory, I won't laugh," I promised, hoping to persuade her gently.

"Yes you will." Though the words were mumbled, she seemed so certain of them. What in the world could she think I was?

Looking up at her through my lashes, I tried again. "Please," the word escaped my lips as little more than a breath.

"Erm." Her lids closed rapidly over her clouded eyes, but she didn't look away. "What?"

I tried to hold in my grin as I realized that she was going to tell me. "Please tell me just one little theory"

She swallowed convulsively. "Um, well, bitten by a radioactive spider?"

I couldn't take my eyes off of her as I realized what she was implying. She was going the superhero route. Figures. I scoffed. "That's not very creative."

She looked miffed as I brushed her comment aside. "I'm sorry, that's all I've got."

"You're not even close." I leaned back in my seat, slightly disappointed. Surely she could have done better.

"No spiders?"

My lip quirked slightly. "Nope"

"And no radioactivity"

"None" I could feel laughter bubbling to the surface again.

"Dang" She slumped back in her seat slightly.

"Kryptonite doesn't bother me either." I couldn't stop the chuckle that had made its way up my throat.

"You're not supposed to laugh, remember?" I tried to clamp down on this strange new giddy feeling that she inspired. As strange as this new feeling was, though, I was enjoying it. I was finding that I enjoyed spending time with Bella. And yet, the closer I got to her seemed to have no affect on what I heard. Her thoughts were still locked away from me.

She eyed me carefully, "I'll figure it out eventually."

That sobered me quickly. "I wish you wouldn't try."

"Because?" Her eyes widened, urging me to continue.

"What if I'm not a superhero?" I tried to force her to see what I was saying without truly scaring her away. I didn't know why, but I didn't want to scare her away. The pull that I'd begun to feel toward her had grown stronger with the time that we had spent together. "What if I'm the bad guy?"

"Oh." The word slipped from her lips. " I see."

I knew she couldn't really, but something in my chest squeezed. "Do you?"

"You're dangerous?" The words stung, because I knew that she was going to run. If she'd figured that much out, surely she'd also figured out that she'd spent more time with me than was safe. I waited for it, but she just continued to study me. "But not bad. No I don't believe that you're bad.

I was both relieved and upset. Relieved that she hadn't run from me, and upset for the same reason. It was wrong for me to want to keep her around, and I should scare her away. "You're wrong."

I stole her lid, spinning it as a human form of distraction. I knew that my cover was slipping. I didn't know why, but this girl turned my century's worth of practice at acting human into dust. She made me feel like I didn't have to hide who I was from her, and the speed at which the bottle top spun was just proof of that. I was exerting far too much force, and although it may not register with her, it was still stupid to let the façade fade, even a little.

The cafeteria began to empty, and Bella and I remained quiet. It wasn't necessarily an uncomfortable quiet, but it wasn't what I would refer to as a companionable silence, either. Alice glanced over at me. _Don't forget, they're doing blood typing in Biology today._ As if that were something I could so easily forget. But I nodded infinitesimally to let her know that I wouldn't be going. I didn't need to endanger the students of Forks high school any more than I already did. Especially not Bella.

We continued to sit in silence for a few more minutes. I was hesitant to tell Bella that it was time for her to get ready to go to class. I wasn't just ready for her presence to disappear. She made a part of me that I didn't think existed, come back to life. But it didn't last long. Bella jumped from her seat and looked around the now almost deserted room. "We're going to be late."

Spinning the bottle again, I tried to remain nonchalant, "I'm not going to class today."

Her gaze turned back to me, and I could see the shock in her eyes. "Why not?"

I shrugged, "It's healthy to ditch class now and then." Healthier for you if_ I_ do, at least.

"Well, I'm going," she didn't sound sure. She sounded like she wanted to stay with me just as much as I wanted her to.

But she couldn't stay. She needed to be far away from me, where it was safe. "I'll see you later then."

Much to my dislike, I watched the foolish girl who I found myself so completely enthralled with scurry away, and as an uncomfortable feeling of unhappiness settled in my chest I leaned back in my seat because I knew that I couldn't follow her. If I followed her, she would be in even more danger than usual, because I could never resist her sweet, tempting blood if it were to be spilled.

I waited until I heard her footsteps grow faint enough that she wouldn't see me removing myself from campus. I needed to put some space between us. The moment she pricked her finger, I would know, and I wasn't sure how much control I'd be able to have.

I stood up from my chair, picking up my jacket from the back of the chair. As I slipped it on, I couldn't help placing Bella's bottle cap in my coat pocket. I wanted something of her with me.

My car seemed to be the safest place to hide until class was over. I slipped, undetected, into the parking lot and settled into my car. I chose the soothing sounds of Debussy and relaxed into the leather seat.

I couldn't resist the temptation of looking into the minds of the Biology classroom. I knew I was tempting myself more than was safe, but I couldn't seem to leave well enough alone. I needed to see her. I needed to know what she was doing.

Mr. Banner was looking at the class. His eyes skimmed the room, taking in the students as they pricked their fingers. His eyes landed on my empty table. Empty? Why wasn't Bella sitting at our lab table?

I had barely settled in, but I was already moving. I got out of the car and tried to keep a human pace as I returned to campus. It didn't take me long to find her. My chest squeezed tightly, and breathing felt hard as I saw her. She was lying on the concrete a few yards around the corner from the classroom door. Her skin's pallor had taken on a sickly shade that made her look ghostly.

Then I saw Newton standing over her, and I was livid. What had he done to her? When she'd left at lunch, she'd been completely healthy.

"Bella?" I called out to her, needing her to answer me. When she didn't respond I turned to Newton, glaring at him as his thoughts contained more hatred toward my arrival than concern for Bella's welfare. "What's wrong? Is she hurt?"

Mike faltered back slightly as my gaze bore into him. He could not even begin to imagine what I saw in his thoughts. Stuttering slightly, he attempted to defend himself against the accusation that I was sure was displayed plainly on my face. "I think she's fainted. I don't know what happened. She didn't even stick her finger."

Relief flooded my system. She was fine. Bella was fine. She just had issues with blood. The irony was not beyond me.

I knelt down beside her, noticing the slight sheen of sweat that had gathered across her skin. "Bella? Can you hear me?"

"No," she groaned, "Go away." I couldn't help but chuckle hearing the irritation in her voice. Even on the verge of passing out, she was still Bella.

Mike, unhappy with Bella's attention no longer only belonging to him, quickly stumbled over his excuse of why they were here. "I was taking her to the nurse, but she wouldn't go any farther."

I smiled as an unpredictable chance to spend more time with Bella was presented to me. "I'll take her. You can go back to class."

Shock and anger colored Mike's thoughts. He quickly stepped forward to protest, as if he was going to act as a barrier between us. "No, I'm supposed to do it."

But it was too late. I already had Bella in my arms. She squeaked in distress as her body was lifted from one cold surface to another.

"Put me down," she groaned.

I ignored her and Mike's both mental and verbal protests as I began to walk down the sidewalk to the office building where the nurse's office was. I couldn't help but revel in the warmth of her body. It was the closest that I'd allowed myself to get to her, though I did leave a small amount of chest between her small body and my chest. I didn't want her to freeze.

I leaned down to whisper in her ear. "You look awful." The words came out past a smile. I hadn't meant to sound so happy, but a strange rush of relief was still running through my empty veins. I didn't understand it, but my whole system had felt like it was collapsing at the idea of Bella no longer existing. But that feeling was not as strange as feeling of warmth that seemed to be blossoming within.

Bella turned her head away from me, but I could see that she was growing slightly greener. "Put me back on the sidewalk." She groaned.

I tried to distract her, because there was no way that I was letting her walk. "So you faint at the sight of blood. And not even your own blood," I whispered with a chuckle. It wasn't an uncommon thing among humans to have such a strong reaction to blood. But it was still interesting that this girl, the girl who I could not read, the girl whose blood drew me to her more forcefully than a sirens call, the girl who had sparked the first real emotion within me in almost a century, would have such a strong aversion to my only source of nutrition.

Bella made no response. She seemed to be concentrating heavily on breathing. So we were quiet the rest of the way to the office.

I pushed the door open and was immediately greeted by the gaze and inappropriate thoughts of a very flustered Mrs. Cope. I really did feel bad for the old woman. I was afraid that one day she was going to have a heart attack looking at me or my brothers.

"Oh my!" She gasped as she came out of her shock looking at Bella in my arms.

Nonchalantly, while still trying to appear as if Bella's weight was even the slightest burden, I nodded my head in the direction of the door that I'd just come through. "She fainted in biology."

I didn't give her time to respond though. The temptation of Bella's blood was more tempting as it pumped beneath her skin, so close to my fingers. "She's just a little faint. They're blood typing in biology."

"There's always one," Mrs. Cope said sadly. She couldn't understand why the school allowed Mr. Banner to do such an experiment. It was extremely dangerous and there was always at least one student in here for either fainting or hurting themselves. Her maternal instinct reminded me of Esme, Esme who loved me as if I were her own son, Esme who had put up with his constant moping when he could feel her need for a happy family, Esme who I could completely ruin if I spent another moment close to the tempting blood of Isabella Swan.

I placed Bella on the bed, making sure she was comfortable, and then quickly backed up against the wall on the farthest side of the room. The fire within my throat burned, and the monster that I had spent decades taming was clawing its way to the surface.

The nurse stepped between us, wafting her less tantalizing scent in my direction. It helped. It didn't take away the burn, but it tempered it. She brushed her hand across Bella's forehead in comforting gesture, brushing her bangs away. "Just lie down for a minute. It'll pass."

"I know," Bella's words came as more of a sigh. The tone of her voice was returning to normal.

"Does this happen a lot?" There was nothing but genuine concern in the woman's voice, but she too was irritated by Mr. Banner's idea. _Does he really think that them knowing their blood type for a blood drive justifies sending them into my office? Most of them won't even give their parents the permission slips, let alone go to the drive._

"Sometimes," Bella said. I bit down on my lip, trying not to laugh at the look that crossed Bella's face. I was getting better and better at reading her face. She obviously wished the nurse would leave her be. She didn't like to be fussed over. I really did try to hold in my laughter, but a chuckle slipped through none the less. It was really amazing how much Bella's presence had affected me.

The nurse swiveled to look at me as my chuckle penetrated the atmosphere. She eyed me up and down, not sure what to say to me. Like a smart human, she was deterred by my differences and wished for me to leave. "You can go back to class now."

Besides the fact that I couldn't go to a classroom where blood was being haphazardly spilled, I couldn't bring myself to leave Bella's presence again. It had been hard enough not to follow her to Biology earlier. The pull seemed stronger now, and I didn't think I could fight it anymore. I wanted to spend time with her. I wanted to get to know her. And for the first time, I wanted to know what was going on in somebody else's head. "I'm supposed to stay with her."

The nurse wanted to argue. She really did. She even opened her mouth to tell me to leave, but thought better of it. She didn't know why, but she knew that she shouldn't argue with me. So instead, she turned back to Bella, "I'll go get you some ice for your forehead, dear."

She turned from the room, leaving Bella and me alone. "You were right," Bella said quietly.

I smiled. I was beginning to gain control of the monster, but I didn't want to chance being near her just yet. So I settled for continuing to watch her from across the room. "I usually am, but about what in particular this time?"

She was watching the ceiling, but she closed her eyes and groaned again. "Ditching is healthy."

We were silent for a few moments. While I appreciated the silence, both mental and verbal, it was different being around Bella. There was something oddly hypnotic about her voice. There were so many things that I could have said to get her to speak to me, but I had this strange urge to give her a piece of myself. It felt weak, but I wanted her to know that she was beginning to affect me in ways that I didn't even understand. "You scared me for a minute there. I though Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods."

"Ha ha." She didn't even open her eyes. I couldn't understand how she could be so adorable.

"Honestly, I've seen corpses with better color." I'd seen vampires with better color. "I was concerned that I might have to avenge your murder."

"Poor Mike, I bet he's mad."

I winced as the words left her lips, though she didn't see it. I covered up quickly with a chuckle. "He absolutely loathes me."

"You can't know that," she whispered the words in a way that made me think she wasn't really paying attention to our conversation anymore.

"I saw his face. I could tell." Why should her saying someone else's name bother me? I was starting to get extremely confused by these new....

I couldn't breathe for a moment as the realization hit me.

I was in love.

I was in love with a human.

Alice had told me that I was, when she'd seen Bella becoming a, I couldn't even think of that, but I hadn't believed her. It hadn't seemed possible. I'd the seen the emotions so many times before in movies and in the minds of so many humans and vampires, but I'd never known. I was in love with Isabella Marie Swan. How could life be so cruel? How could I be in love with someone that I could barely be around without killing?

Bella's voice jarred me from my revelation. "How did you see me? I thought you were ditching"

I tried to sound as though my world had not just been turned completely on its head. I couldn't let Bella know that her life was now irrevocably changed. "I was in my car listening to a CD."

The nurse finally reentered the room carrying a cool wet paper towel for Bella to lay over her eyes. "Here you go, dear. You're looking better." She'd apparently had to go all the way down to the girl's bathroom by the cafeteria. You'd think there would be a teacher's bathroom or a sink in the nurse's office, even in this small of a school. But, then again, the nurse wasn't even certified.

"I think I'm fine." Her voice came out weaker than I'm sure she meant it to.

Mrs. Cope stuck her head in, wafting new scents into the room. "We've got another one."

Bella hopped off the bed, more steady than I would have expected her to be. She handed the nurse back the wet paper towel. "Here, I don't need this."

The sweet smell of dripping human blood wafted through the office before the door even opened for the second time. I flattened myself against the wall wishing that I could somehow plant myself there permanently so I couldn't attack the unsuspecting student. Bella flattened herself next to me, and I suddenly remembered why we were in the office in the first place. Bella fainted at the sight of blood. "Oh no. Go out of the office, Bella." She looked up at me, looking like she was going to say something, but we didn't have time. Having her unconscious in a room where I was more tempted by freshly flowing blood was not safe for any of us. "Trust me, go"

I was more than a little surprised when she spun to catch the door before it closed. I had expected her to argue. Instead, she'd fled to the outer office where were again, alone. "You actually listened to me."

She nodded infinitesimally as she took in several deep breaths. She looked like she might be sick or pass out again. "I smelled the blood."

My brow furrowed, was she joking? "People can't smell blood."

She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. Surely she couldn't tell the difference between the air of this office and the nurse's office. And yet, her pallor was already improving with each calming breath that she took. "Well I can. That's what makes me sick, it smells like rust and salt." She finally opened her eyes and looked at me. "What?"

"Nothing." I shook my head, trying to appear human, yet I felt anything but. Humans don't smell blood, they never have. And yet I seem to have found a girl who not only can smell blood, but the smell makes her sick.

Mike exited the nurse's office and went directly to Bella. He didn't spare a glance at me, but he knew I was there. He mentally cursed me for taking away his shot at being alone with Bella. Though most of his anger was aimed at me, there was a small portion that was aimed at Bella for not giving him a chance.

"You look better." The words came out harsher than he'd meant them. He hadn't meant for it to be an accusation, but he was still feeling stung from her obvious refusal of his attentions.

"Just keep your hand in your pocket." I could tell by the look on her face that just the thought of blood might be enough to send her over the edge again.

"It's not bleeding anymore." Of course he didn't understand her aversion. I didn't really understand it either, but I could empathize. The smell of blood tended to cause me a great deal of pain as well. Mike took a deep breath trying to regain his composure so that he wouldn't come off as an ass in front of Bella. "Are you going back to class?

Bella scoffed, "Are you kidding? I'd just have to turn around and come back"

"Yeah, I guess." Mike didn't believe her. Instead interesting images of Bella and me tangled together behind one of the class buildings flitted across his mind. Lust flooded my system. Those were things I couldn't have, and yet my body recognized them and responded immediately.

Mike's thoughts shifted to getting Bella alone again, and away from me. "So are you going this weekend, to the beach?"

"Sure, I said I was in." Bella seemed eager to appease Mike. I wondered briefly if there was a chance that she had feelings for him. It wouldn't be so strange. Many of the human girls in this school desired Mike. But it hurt to think about it. Even if it would be safer for her to spend all her time with Mike instead of me, I couldn't think about it without wanting to tear Mike limb from limb. This emotion, this strong sense of jealousy, was almost as dangerous as the bloodlust that I felt for my Bella.

I leaned against Mrs. Cope's desk, hoping that turning away from them would help me get in control of my emotions. It didn't, but it did help not to have to see Mike's face.

Mike's thoughts and vision flickered to me for a moment. He didn't want me to know about this trip. If I knew, I might come, and then his plans to woo Bella at his intended romantic location would be destroyed. "We're meeting at my dad's store at ten."

Bella spoke up quickly. For my own sanity, I had to believe that she spoke quickly to remove Mike from my presence, even though there was no chance she knew the danger that he was now in. Nor did she realize that danger that she was now in. "I'll be there."

Mike, seemed to debate staying, interfering with whatever plans I had to seduce Bella, and going back to class before he got into trouble. Avoiding a lecture from his parents about truancy seemed to be the better of the two options for him. "I'll see you in gym, then"

"See you." Was I just imagining her eagerness to be rid of Newton?

As soon as Mike was out the door, I heard Bella groan. I couldn't help but smile. She didn't want to see Newton again. I walked closer to her, bending down so I could speak in her ear. "I can take care of that. Go sit down and look pale." She jumped slightly at the sound of my voice, which meant I wasn't concentrating enough on seeming human. It was so hard not to be myself around her.

I watched her for a moment to make sure that she followed my instructions. I chuckled silently as I watched her. She wasn't a great actress, and while she still didn't physically look well, I could tell that she was overdoing it a bit.

Shaking my head, I turned toward the desk where Mrs. Cope had returned. "Mrs. Cope?"

Completely flustered by the sound of my voice alone, Mrs. Cope began to fiddle with the papers on her desk, trying not to look at me. I felt terrible that her not looking at me did not prevent me from hearing her undress me in her mind. She wished she could stop thinking such inappropriate thoughts about me or my brothers almost as much as I did. "Yes?"

I leaned forward across the desk, letting what I knew to be an intoxicating scent to wash over her. "Bella has gym next hour, and I don't think she feels well enough. Actually, I was thinking I should take her home now. Do you think you could excuse her from class?"

"Do you need to be excused too, Edward?" It amazed me how well she put her words together. Her mind was completely scrambled.

"No." I smiled at her, and I could her mind to go blank. "I have Mrs. Goff. She won't mind."

"Okay, it's all taken care of. You feel better, Bella." She never took her eyes from my face as she spoke. I wished that I could change human's reactions to me, because I hated how easy it would be to take her life. Maybe I wouldn't feel so bad about the monster inside of me if I knew that the innocent humans around me had a fighting chance.

As I turned away from Mrs. Cope, I noticed Bella, still being the horrible actress. I couldn't suppress the smile that spread across my face with my amusement. I walked over to her slowly, drinking in her features. It was incredible how beautiful she was, even in the aftermath of being sick. "Can you walk or do you want me to carry you again?"

Her eyes shot open and I could see the anger in them. It made me want to laugh again. "I'll walk," she replied stubbornly.

Standing up quicker than she should have if she wanted Mrs. Cope to believe that she couldn't go to class, she spun and left the audience. I followed closely behind her, studying her movements. She stopped for a moment, lifting her face toward the sky so that the constant Forks mist washed away the sheen of sweat. I couldn't see the little color that she had finally returning to her face.

She sighed, so she must have been feeling better as well. "Thanks, it's almost worth getting sick to miss gym."

"Anytime." And I meant it. I hated that I meant it, because I was going to do anything that I could to spend time with her now.

"Are you going?" she asked. I glanced at her, not sure where her thoughts were. "This Saturday I mean."

Ah, yes, the trip that Newton wanted her to go on this weekend. "Where are you all going exactly?" I didn't need to ask, I'd already seen it in his mind.

"Down to La Push, to First Beach." I could hear that she sounded hopeful, and that made me want to jump for joy. It was going to take a long time before I was used to the way my emotions changed with Bella.

I smiled down at her. "I really don't think I was invited."

"I just invited you." She didn't sound like she believed that I was going to accept though.

"Let's you and I not push poor Mike any further this week. We don't want him to snap." I felt a strange squeeze in my chest as I said you and I. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face as I realized that it was my long dormant heart telling me that it liked the sound of those words together.

"Mike shmike," she grumbled under her breath.

We walked in silence, and it appeared that Bella was deep in thought. Why couldn't I hear her? Why, when for decades I'd heard every thought of every person I'd come across, would the world punish me by preventing me from hearing the thoughts that I actually wished to hear?

When we reached the parking lot, Bella veered away from me. Reaching out, I caught a handful of her jacket, preventing her from moving any further away from me. I hated the way that my stomach had tightened as she'd taken a few steps away. "Where do you think you're going?"

She pointed toward her truck on the other side of the parking lot, a confused expression on her face. "I'm going home."

Right, her truck. I should have known that's where she was going. I should let her go, but I wasn't ready, not yet. I wanted to spend more time alone with her. "Didn't you hear me promise to take you safely home? Do you think I'm going to let you drive in your condition?"

Her brow furrowed. "What condition? And what about my truck?" She gestured in the direction of her truck again.

I shrugged it off. I'd already made up my mind, and there was no way around that. "I'll have Alice drop it off after school."

She looked longingly at her truck, like she might run toward it. I didn't give her the chance, using the grip I still had on her jacket, I began to pull her toward the Volvo. She squirmed and pulled, trying to get away. "Let go." I should have let go, but I couldn't. I finally let go of her jacket when we reached the passenger door.

As I walked around to the driver's side, she glared daggers at me while straightening out her jacket. "You are so pushy."

"It's open." My voice came out with more of an edge than I meant for it to. I'd just realized how small of an area Bella and I would soon be sharing. This may have been the most dangerous thing that I'd ever done. Even knowing this, knowing that the smell of her blood would most likely suffocate me, I couldn't give up this chance to be with her.

"I am perfectly capable of driving myself home." She continued to stand outside. What had at first been a simple mist had now turned in true rainstorm.

I rolled down the window. "Get in Bella." She looked at me for a moment before looking back across the parking lot with a calculating look on her face. I sighed, she was going to try to run. "I'll just drag you back."

Finally, she opened the door and got in. Her boots squeaked and she was soaked through.

"This is completely unnecessary," she argued. I ignored her, reaching out to turn on the heater, not wanting her to be sick. I also wanted a few seconds to test myself. I wanted to make sure that Bella was safe, because I could not hurt her.

It was hard; her blood called to me. The fire in my throat burned hotter than it ever had before, even hotter than when I was a newborn, and the venom that pooled in my mouth was sweet on my tongue. The monster rejoiced at getting her away from everybody else, but I locked him down. She was more than just another human, and I was stronger than this. I could resist her blood.

As I pulled out of the parking lot, I turned on my CD player. The soothing sounds of the piano might help temper the desire that I felt for her. Bella shifted in her seat, breaking the silence that had fallen between us. "Claire de Lune?"

My brow furrowed. It was a shock to hear anyone today talk about what was considered classical music. The only music that people listened to today had vulgar lyrics. "You know Debussy?"

"Not well," she admitted. "My mother plays a lot of classical music around the house. I only know my favorites."

"It's one of my favorites, too." It was so strange that she could say something that I didn't expect her to say. I'd been inside the human mind for several decades, nearly a century in fact. It was always the same. No one ever did anything to surprise me. And yet, everything Bella did surprised me.

It was odd, being completely silent with Bella. Even in her sleep she wasn't silent. Yet, now, she simply sat relaxed, with her eyes closed, saying nothing. It was peaceful, but I wanted to hear her. "What is your mother like?"

Clearly she hadn't been expecting me to say anything, because she jumped just a tiny bit in her seat. She took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts. "She looks a lot like me, but she's prettier." I scoffed; that was hard to believe. "I have too much Charlie in me. She's more outgoing than I am and braver. She's irresponsible and slightly eccentric. And she's a very unpredictable cook. She's my best friend." She sighed regretfully.

"How old are you, Bella?" She sounded more like a mother to her mother than a daughter.

She looked out the windshield at her house, which we'd just pulled up in front of, though a human wouldn't really be able to see it through the rain. "I'm seventeen."

That couldn't be right. She didn't act anything like the rest of the sheep at the school. "You don't seem seventeen."

Bella laughed in response to my confused expression. I studied her face, which was bright with whatever emotion she was experiencing. "What?"

She smiled, and it was the first true smile she'd ever aimed at me. "My mom always says I was born thirty five years old and that I get more middle aged every year." She studied me for a moment. Her voice came out low, as if she knew what she was saying. "Well, someone has to be the adult. You don't seem much like a junior in high school yourself."

I had to change the subject quickly. "So why did your mother marry Phil?"

Her brow furrowed and she continued to study me. I wondered if it was the fact that I'd changed the subject, or if there was something else that I'd said that had caught her attention. I felt that she was more observant than most humans. She'd noticed so many things about me, like my eyes, that no other human had seen before.

Deciding to ignore whatever she'd noticed, she moved forward. "My mother, she's very young for her age. I think Phil makes her feel even younger. At any rate he's crazy about him." Bella shook her head in a way that made it obvious that she didn't really understand what her mother was thinking.

"Do you approve?" I knew that there were plenty of children that resented their step-parents. She didn't seem to, but she also didn't seem completely open to him.

"Does it matter?" she countered. "I want her to be happy and he is who she wants."

"That very generous. I wonder..." Would her mother approve of me? No, not if she knew what I really was. No one could ever approve of that for their daughter.

"What?" She leaned forward slightly like she was hanging on to every one of my words.

I couldn't help but smile at the idea of Bella wanting to know what I was thinking as much I did for her. "Would she extend the same courtesy to you, do you think, no matter who your choice was?"

"I-I think so." The question seemed to throw her off. "But she's the parent after all. It's a little bit different."

"No one too scary, then." I couldn't help but smile.

I was dazed slightly when her own smile responded. "What do you mean by scary? Multiple facial piercings and extensive tattoos?"

"That's one definition I suppose." If only that were the scariest thing out there. If only I wasn't scarier than that.

"What's your definition?" she asked, seeing too much again.

"Do you think I could be scary?" I briefly wondered how long it would be before she got irritated again with my evading of questions again.

"Hm." Her eyes roamed over me, warming me from the inside out. How could she do that with just her eyes? "I think you could be, if you wanted to."

I couldn't resist the urge, I leaned forward, inhaling slightly, invading her personal space. "Are you frightened of me now?"

Her eyes widened immensely and spine stiffened. "No." Her answer came out too quickly, squeaking past her lips. She was scared of me, even if she didn't want to admit it.

Realizing that I didn't believe her, she barreled on. "So now are you going to tell me about your family? It's got to be a more interesting story than mine."

I wanted to tell her everything, because I wanted her to know me as much as I wanted to know her. But it wasn't my secret to tell. And if I told her, she'd run from me. Even if she didn't tell my secret, she would do everything she could to avoid me. And though I knew that was what was best for her, I didn't want to lose what little time I had with her. So I eyed her carefully, trying to judge what would be the best way to answer her questions without lying to her, and without scaring her away. "What do you want to know?"

She cocked her head to the side in the most adorable manner. "The Cullens adopted you?"

"Yes." This question at least was easy to answer.

"What happened to your parents?" She hesitated, probably feeling that she would offend me with this question.

But like the last question, this was easy for me to answer. "They died many years ago."

"I'm sorry." The true emotion behind her words caused the strange twisting of my heart.

"I don't really remember them that clearly." It was hard to take the pain in her eyes. How could she feel so much for me, when she barely knew me? How could someone's heart be so pure that she felt for a monster like me? "Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time now."

"And you love them," Bella said simply.

"Yes." I couldn't help but smile at both the emotions I felt for my parental figures as well as the fact that it was so obvious to Bella. "I couldn't imagine two better people."

"You're very lucky." There was a slightly wistful tone to her voice. I wondered what it must have been like for her to grow up without a parental figure. From the way that she'd described her mother, it was clear that she'd never been taken care of like a little girl should be.

"I know I am." I knew that both my birth parents and Carlisle and Esme had done everything they could to take care of me, even when I didn't deserve it.

"And your brother and sister?" Bella's voice was soft, and I knew that she was aware that the more questions she asked, the closer we'd get to a point that I couldn't answer her questions anymore.

Sadly, looking at the clock, I knew that point had, though it wasn't because of the question this time. "My brother and sister, and Jasper and Rosalie for that matter, are going to be quite upset if they have to stand in the rain waiting for me."

Bella glanced at the clock as well, and disappointment showed clearly on her face. "Oh sorry. I guess you have to go."

"And you probably want your truck back before Chief Swan gets home so you don't have to tell him about the biology incident." I smiled, hoping that she would return the gesture. She was unbelievably stunning when she smiled.

"I'm sure he's already heard. There are no secrets in Forks."

I chuckled softly, causing her brow to furrow. If only she knew.

I gave myself a mental shake. I needed to say goodbye to her. Even though I was growing strangely immune to her scent, I knew that I shouldn't risk her life further by staying. "Have fun at the beach, good weather for sunbathing." I glanced out at the rain which had lightened slightly. Though Alice had seen sun for the weekend, it was hard to believe looking at the ominous sky now.

Her brow furrowed. "Won't I see you tomorrow?"

"No." Why did the sun have to choose tomorrow to make an appearance. Why couldn't it wait? "Emmett and I are starting the weekend early."

"What are you going to do?" Her voice was hesitant. She knew that there was more than I could tell her. But she couldn't know that.

"We're going to be hiking in the Goat Rocks wilderness just south of Rainier." She didn't know enough of the area to know that people didn't camp there, and I was glad that I had a reason to tell the truth.

"Oh, well, have fun." Enthusiasm was lacking in her voice. I couldn't deny that the excitement that I'd felt for the week had disappeared as well. I wanted to spend the weekend with Bella.

I leaned over closer to her, noticing that the closer I got, the more her eyes glazed over. "Will you do something for me this weekend?" She nodded and swallowed thickly. I reached into her jacket pocket, being very careful not to disturb the material. "Don't be offended, but you seem to be one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. So try not to fall in the ocean or get run over, all right?"

Anger flashed through her eyes. "I'll see what I can do." She opened the door and jumped out. Pushing the door closed as hard as she could, she stormed off toward the door.

I couldn't help but laugh at her anger. It was wrong of me, but I thought she was so cute when she was enraged. I looked down at the stolen keys in my hand and shook my head.

I wasn't going to survive the weekend.


End file.
